Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to watch Fox News and he’ll starve to death while he bitterly argues that handing out fish is Socialism.
When life hands you lemons, create a complicated fiscal device which allows you to grossly overvalue the lemons. Then when your grossly inflated lemons cause a global financial crash, go to the government and demand enough lemons to buy a large house and a yacht.
Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to watch Fox News and he’ll starve to death while he bitterly argues that handing out fish is Socialism.
When life hands you lemons, create a complicated fiscal device which allows you to grossly overvalue the lemons. Then when your grossly inflated lemons cause a global financial crash, go to the government and demand enough lemons to buy a large house and a yacht.
You can lead a donkey to water…but it’s still a donkey
For Christmas comes but once a year… unless you’re in retail when it’s October till December!
A barking dog never bites.. which is why we get the gin down Aunt Doris at Christmas!
Deck the halls with Buddy Holly
CONGRATULATIONS and thanks very much for taking part. I loved your xmas proverb the most and will contact you very soon.
A donkey is just a horse with bad PR
The best things come in small packages… except when it comes to Christmas presents!
We are all of us lying in the gutter, but then that’s what bailing out Goldman Sachs will do to an economy.
Ding Dong merrily on high, the Avon Lady is ringing
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If you think the Christmas Fairy has it easy because all she has to do is sit there and smile, remember where she’s sitting.
“Not all who wander need sat-nav.”
There are plenty more fish in the sea;
except…Anglerfish, Atlantic Salmon, Cod, Common Sole, Eel, European Plaice, Halibut, Haddock, Hake, Hoki, Marlin, Orange Roughy, Patagonian Toothfish, Rockfish, shark, Skate, Ray, Swordfish, Tropical Shrimp, Tuna…
I asked God for a shiny new bike for Christmas. I then realised that God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine….be necessary in the first place
Tis the season for giving… the bath salts and socks you were given and didn’t want last Christmas
Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
All that twitters ain’t gold
8 lords a sleeping (political)
and alan partridge in a pear tre acle tart
Jesus is the Reason for the Season
Let’s approach Christmas with an expectant hush,
rather than a last-minute rush.
Make this bitter days better days
{edit} Make these bitter days better days
Success isn’t measured in currency.
10 years ago we had Bob hope, jonnhy cash and steve jobs. now we have no hope, no cash and no jobs.
Tis the season to regift!
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder…
If it ain’t broke, just wait until the kids get home.
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t be naturists.
If at first you don’t succeed, have a sit down.
T’was the night before Christmas… and a large proportion of the male population were still doing their shopping
Nostalgia isn’t what is used to be
*edit* Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be
Oops!
Hi all! Thanks for the great entries, the competition is now closed, and the winner will be announced tomorrow! Good luck!